funny ultimate truths

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
The road to success??????.. is always under construction.
Alcohol doesn???t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk..
In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don???t need it.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich???.. which never works.
If at first you don???t succeed???. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot.
He who has the gold, makes the rules ???- Murphy???s golden rule.
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?????? the bus is still late.
Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
If you have paper, you don???t have a pen??????. If you have a pen, you don???t have paper?????? if you have both, no one calls.
Especially for engg. Students???-
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
All Govt buses are crowded.
Corollary??? ??? The Govt buses in opposite direction always go empty.
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

i dont deserve this

Mommy.. Johnny brought a gun to school,


He told his friends that it was cool,


And when he pulled the trigger back,


It shot with a great crack.


Mommy, I was a good girl, I did What I was told,


I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!


But Mommy, when I went school that day,


I never said good-bye,


I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.


When Johnny shot the gun, He hit me and another,


And all because Johnny, Got the gun from his older brother.


Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,


And please tell Chris; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.


And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,


And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now,


And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best;


Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest.


Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,


And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass.


Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one deserves this,


Mommy, warn the others, Mommy I left without a kiss.


And Mommy tell the doctors; I know they really did try,


I think I even saw a doctor, Trying not to cry.


Mommy, I'm slowly dying, With a bullet in my chest,


But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest.


Mommy I ran as fast as I could,


When I heard that crack, Mommy, listen to me if you would,


I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new,


I guess I'm not ! ! going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo.


I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,


I wanted to be an actress, Mommy, I wanted to live.


But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,


Mommy, tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date.


I love you Mommy, I always have, I know; you know it's true,


And Mommy all I wanted to say is, "Mommy, I love you."


****In Memory of The Columbine Students Who Were Lost****




Please if you would,


Pass this around,


I'd be happy if you could,


Don't smash this on the ground.


If you pass this on,


Maybe people will cry,


Just keep this in your heart,


For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye