Save Me, Lovely

This is just the preface, I don't dare release more now that I am actually getting it published.

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Save me, lovely






**Preface**



Everyone compares life to a roller coaster. At first, the comparison appears to be true. Life is full of ups and downs and spin-you-arounds. Life goes fast then slows, or even completely stops. It can leave you feeling breathless, invincible, and lighter than air. Then, it feels like the entire world is being thrown right back at you, knocking the wind out of you, crushing you. Life is full of the moments that make you scream, make you sick, laugh. There are times where life hurls you into loops and spins that you can only do your best to brace yourself.

In reality though, life is nothing like a rollercoaster. On a roller coaster, you can look around and see what is next. You can see the end, you can see the loops. You can stand back and watch the ride to know exactly what to expect. You can observe the reactions of other passengers while you wait for your turn. On a roller coaster there is one path, one stop, one direction. You have no choice but to stay on the path, you cannot stray from it.

In life, you can choose to step back off of the platform. In life you can change your path. In life there are so many different directions that you can go. If you change the slightest thing, you can easily end up on a completely different ride. Roller coasters are designed for thrill, for fun. Life is not. Sure, there can be fun. With the fun however, there is a lot of pain, fear. Then again it???s a person???s interpretation of the ride that decides whether it is fun or not. One person could see life as fun, an adventure. I see mine as a fear though. I am scared to go up, for things to get better. The law of gravity states what goes up must always come down. I fear my life going up strictly for that reason. Once things start to get better, there is a definite possibility that it is only a matter of time before things come right back down on top of me. I fear going up because I???m completely terrified of going down. I hope to play on Newton???s 3rd law, an object at rest will stay at rest, an object in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by a greater force.

A greater force, that is something I found without really wanting to. A force so great that is had my life move from a total standstill to being thrown into a downward spiral, the drugs, the sex, but most of all a boy. A mysterious boy, I use the term boy lightly. He is everywhere, when I don???t wish to see or can???t understand his presence. It???s like he knows every wrong moment to be there, like he is waiting to come and pick me back up off of the ground. I can???t help but to find comfort in his presence despite the fact that I have only spoken to his beautiful face a few times. It seems there is more to him than I will ever be able to figure out. It seems that the coincidences of our meeting are far from coincidence.

As my life continues to spiral out of control, there is few whom I can count on. One of which being the last one to expect. The people I felt I could count on have drifted to far out of reach that I have nothing but the comfort of a perfect stranger, a stranger that is far from being real in my eyes. Every flaw coated in perfection, every word a soothing lullaby, he is an angel walking among us. Little did I know how true that statement would turn out to be.