Remember

Hey yall im back and heres some thing that i want you to repost or i will know if you repost put your name in a post thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Never go to bed angry... stay up and plot your revenge.
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When life gives you lemons, throw them back and say you want oranges. (
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If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, why try
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If I throw a stick will you go away?
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If a tree falls in a forest on a mime and no one is around, does he scream?
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I'm just a chocolate bar... sweet but half nuts!
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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Do not follow in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
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Being stupid isn't a bad thing, you're just overdoing it.
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If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
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What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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People who live in glass houses should dress in the basement.
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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
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I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
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They told me I was gullible. And I believed them.
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Experience is the one thing you have left when everything else is gone.
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I had amnesia once. Or twice.
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How can there be self-help groups?
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If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
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Is it my imagination or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
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Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
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Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
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Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
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Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
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How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
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I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
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I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
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I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
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I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke.
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I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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If barbie is so popular why do u have to buy all her friends?
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If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
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It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
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We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
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What's the speed of dark?
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You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
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You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
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I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle.
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Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you're interrupting