SUPER FUNNY

OK read the English meaning and then "OUT LOUD" say the Chinese words...

You MUST read them out loud or it doesn't make as much sense...

1 That's not right.................... Sum Ting Wong
2 Are you harboring a fugitive................. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3 See me ASAP.......................... ........ Kum Hia Nao
4 Stupid Man........................... ...........Dum
5 Small horse......................... .............Tai Ni Po Ni
6 Did you go to the beach?..................... Wai Yu So Tan
7 I bumped in to a coffee table................ Ai Bang Mai Ni
8 I think you need a face lift...................Chin Tu Fat
9 It's very dark in here..........................Wao So Dim
10 I thought you were on a diet............... Wai Yu Mun Ching
11 This is a tow away zone.....................No Pah King
12 staying out of sight.........................Lei Ying Lo
13 He's cleaning his automobile...............Wa Shing Ka
14 Your body odor is offensive............... Yu Stin Ki Pu
15 Great..........................................Su Pah

If u understood how to do this, re post it and share the laugh!!!


Guy's Point of View


>
> This is very cute! And even written by a guy!
>
> You might agree with it, but when it actually happens 99% of girls don't realize it 'til it is too late and that guy who did it is so frustrated that he has moved on to someone who will take notice.
>
> From a guys point of view:
>
> We don't care if you talk to other guys.
>
> We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
>
> But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him without even introducing us, yeah, it ticks us off.
>
> It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
>
> We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.
>
> Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till he morning.
>
> Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.
>
> Don't tell us we're wrong.We'll stop trying to convince you.
>
> The s*****t thing about a girl is confidence.
>
> Yeah, you can quote me.
>
> Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
>
> Take Advantage of the mood im in.
>
> LET US PAY FOR YOU! DON'T 'FEEL BAD'
>
> We enjoy doing it.
>
> It's expected.
>
> Smile and say 'thank you.'
>
> Kiss us when no one's watching.
>
> If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.
>
> You don't have to get dressed up for us.
>
> If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.
>
> We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.
>
> Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's or my t-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.
>
> Don't take everything we say seriously.
>
> Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
>
> Don't get angry easily.
>
> Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
>
> Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us. It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.
>
> Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'.
>
> I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie or whatever else you can think of.
>
> On the other hand im not sayin i wouldn't like it ether.
>
> Girls: I cannot stress this enough: IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE. DITCH HIS SORRY DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION BUTT, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT
>
> Someone who will honor your morals.
>
> Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
>
> Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
>
> Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
>
> Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes....and say 'i love you' ..........AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT!
>
> *****Give the nice guys a chance*****
>
> Holdin Hands- Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times.
> Guys : Grab it if it happens more than once.
>
> Cuddling- Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold.
> Guys : Automatically move closer to her.
>
> Movies- Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder
> Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.
>
> Loving each other- Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into
> her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And
> mean it.
>
> Laying below the stars- Girls : When you're both laying under the stars,
> put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady
> heart beat
> Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers. Now
> make a wish about something you would like to happen Between you and your
> crush....
>
> guys: no grabbing!!!I mean it!
>
> ******************************
> ******************************
> Stop!! Stop!! Stop!! Stop!!
>
> If you haven't stopped.Seriously stop!
>
> Guys re post this if you agree.
>
> Girls re post this if you think it's cute.
>
> Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will re post this


Pick the month you were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I kissed
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an ipod
29-------a surfer
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway. Brown---------because I can..
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!

weird thingg *

2008!
You know ur in 2008 if:



1. You go to a party, sit down and take My space pics.















2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.















3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have MSN/Bebo/MySpace.















4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.















6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.














7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.















8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.














9. You were too busy to notice number five.














10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.















11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.












12. Repost if you fell for it. I did





Repost this in 2 min 14 sec or less, & tomorrow will be the best day of your life!

But, if you wait too long
u will die

1. Few women admit their age; fewer men act it.
2. What???s another word for synonym?
3. I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
4. If Barbie is so popular, then why do we have to buy her friends?
5. What happens if you get scared half to death??? twice?
6. If you can???t repair the brakes, make the horn louder.
7. ???Everything has a purpose", she said for no reason at all.
8. I haven't lost my mind. It's backed up on a disc somewhere???
9. What is a "free gift?" Aren't gifts already free?
10. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
11. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
12. Before they invented "drawing boards" what did they go back to?
13. Chaos, panic & disorder...My work here is done.
14. Don't drink and drive, you might spill your drink.
15. Hard work never hurt anybody, but why even take the chance?
16. If they don't have chocolate in heaven, then I ain't going.
17. Fall in love? I'd rather fall in chocolate.
18. Friends don't set friends on fire.
19. ???Operator! Quick, give me the number for 911!!???????
20. Canyouhelpmefixthespacebaronmykeyboard?
21. Whatdoesthatlongbaratthebottomofmykeyboarddo?
22. Never raise your hand to your kids; it leaves your lower half unprotected.
23. I wonder how deep the ocean would be, without sponges.
24. How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.
25. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
26. It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say, and don't say it.
27. There are 3 types of people in this world- those who can count and those who can't.
28. Before you criticize someone- walk a mile in their shoes. That way if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away and barefoot.
29. I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friend wouldn't talk to me???
30. He broke my heart; I broke his PS2. Who do you think cried harder?
31. If you make something idiot-proof, He will make better idiots.
32. Life is not a Game.
33. I swear to drunk I'm not God.
34. Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
35. Humpty Dumpty was pushed!
36. Sticks and stones may... Oh, gosh he has a gun!
37. You say plz because it's shorter than please, I say no because it's shorter than yes.
38. The voices in my head are telling me that I'm not crazy!
39. You're just jealous that the voices are talking to me and not you.
40. My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems
41. I'm so rich, even the bags under my eyes are Gucci.
42. Of course I'm out my mind, it's dark and scary in there.
43. Don't hit kids, no seriously don???t, they have guns now.
44. I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it?!!
45. We have enough youth. What we need is a fountain of SMART!
46. 100% of people who ate carrots in 1820 are now dead.
47. My mommy says I look cute with a FOR SALE sticker on my forehead....
48. When love fails, go shopping. You can always return what you don't want.
49. If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
50. Marahome 15000 mps, Bed 1200 mps, Rug 1000 mps. Keeping you busy with this siggie: PRICELESS
51. Just try to lick your elbow while I'm gone.
52. I'm walking my goldfish. Be right back.
53. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
54. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
55. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
56. He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.
57. Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
58. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
59. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
60. I like long walks, especially when taken by people who annoy me.
61. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
62. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
63. Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
64. Welcome to the ool...notice there's no P? Let???s keep it that way.
65. If a picture is worth a 1000 words, then why can't we judge a book by its cover?
66. Didn't I dissect you in biology class?
67. Eagles may soar high but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines!
68. Paris Hilton died in a volcano. That???s Hot!
69. When life gives you lemons throw them back and scream for cupcakes.
70. Kids like dinosaurs...unfortunately dinosaurs also like kids.
71. I thought I found my knight in shining armor! Too bad he was just a dork in tin foil.
72. Elmo watches you when you sleep. Don't let him get you.
73. Report happies are to Spam boards as moths are to lights
74. A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a really good friend would sit next to you and say, "Wasn't that fun?"
75. Put this in your siggy if you've ever pushed a door that says pull.
76. I run with safety scissors.... It makes me feel dangerous
77. Don't tell me to get a life. I'm a gamer. I have TONS of lives.
78. I shall rule the world!! It will be a small world but it will be the world!!
79. Honey, if your going to be two-faced, then at least make one of them pretty.
80. Guess who's me at Paris Hilton's funeral:

81. NEVER say hi to your friend Jack on an airplane.
82. So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long, long journey.
83. I can resist everything except temptation.
84. Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
85. Sweetie, the only fan you have is the one on your ceiling. O.o Burn!
86. You need to learn not to interrupt me when I'm talking to myself.
87. I was standing in the park, wondering why frisbees got bigger as they got closer. Then it hit me.
88. I am a princess. I have class. Touch my crown, and I'll k.ick your butt.
89. I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, came up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "You???re next" "You???re next". Well they stopped doing it when I started to do it to them at funerals.
90. Hey, just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I
91. I'm not paranoid... but I know that you think I am.
92. If they say TV's so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?
93. Rather be one in a million than one of a million.
94. Bow down to my queenly queenliness.
95. Someday, my prince will come...
96. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
97. You laugh because I am different, I laugh because you are all the same.
98. A person who never made a mistake never made anything.
99. A Queen is never late; everyone else is simply early.
100.Stand up for what it right even if you're standing alone.
101. Why glow when you can shine?


Taken from ultramaniac4ever's post

Female Comebacks
Female combacks

female comebacks - I read this and found some of them funny.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
....
...
..
.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
.
..
...
....
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
....
...
..
.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
....
...
..
.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
.
..
...
....
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
....
...
..
.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
.
..
...
....
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today
....
...
..
.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
.
..
...
....
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
....
...
..
.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
.
..
...
....
If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this....
....
...
..
.
If you don't resend this then your love life will be [[doomed]] for eternity.
.
..
...
....
CHICKS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
....
...
..
.
DUDES REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen